I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
