Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
