Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
