i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
