Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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