hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
