Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
