There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
