i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
