She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
