So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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