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• (133): View more from

  YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels

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• (360): View more from Washington

  All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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• (408): View more from California

  It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?

  (765): View more from Indiana

  It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!

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