it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
