I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
