Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
