If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
