Can Purell be used as lube?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
