Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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