Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
