Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
