ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
