Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
