Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The struggles of a small town man whore
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
