hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
