East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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