i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
