As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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