And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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