Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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