That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
