You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
