Having a random hookup so left but love u
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
