I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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