Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
