one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
