Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
