I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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