How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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