I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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