I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
false alarm, still single
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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