True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize