Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
