I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
