There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
