If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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