You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
