im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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