So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
