how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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