never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
