..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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