I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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