before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
