at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
