The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am spending my child support on dildos
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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