she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
