careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
