This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
