Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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