i don't like sucking hair
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
