A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
