Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
