nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
