so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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