Texts From Last Night

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  (432): View more from Texas

  "you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.

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  (432): "you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me. http://tfl.nu/ueh3
  Replies (6) Good night (912) Bad night (1068)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  would you consider him our boss?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  technically yes

  (360): View more from Washington

  then technically i slept with our boss

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  (360): would you consider him our boss? (503): technically yes (360): then technically i slept with our boss http://tfl.nu/5m3t
  Replies (22) Good night (4012) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.

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  (803): I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway. http://tfl.nu/iohv
  Replies (8) Good night (1839) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"

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  (971): So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully" http://tfl.nu/lw3x
  Replies (12) Good night (10843) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  That changes everything.

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  (360): I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy. (1-360): That changes everything. http://tfl.nu/pss9
  Replies (27) Good night (5157) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs

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  (516): Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs http://tfl.nu/6o6j
  Replies (7) Good night (2171) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.

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  (615): You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy. http://tfl.nu/cdg1
  Replies (10) Good night (860) Bad night (1600)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars

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  (307): We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars http://tfl.nu/sm85
  Replies (11) Good night (1625) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.

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  (901): Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain. http://tfl.nu/cpjv
  Replies (2) Good night (1466) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.

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  (+44): He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar. http://tfl.nu/zoch
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.

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  (519): I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption. http://tfl.nu/y4ti
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.

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  (661): This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas. http://tfl.nu/nydy
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.

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  (774): In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/mh8s
  Replies (7) Good night (967) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.

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  (484): So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest. http://tfl.nu/3leh
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  Pride claims another victim

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  (940): Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me. (1-940): Pride claims another victim http://tfl.nu/qwz3
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (241)

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