i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night