Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Jake died.

  (310): View more from California

  WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

  (818): View more from California

  Oops typo. Jake cried.

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  (818): Jake died. (310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me???? (818): Oops typo. Jake cried. http://tfl.nu/zib8
  Replies (41) Good night (4894) Bad night (1385)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.

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  (505): He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off. http://tfl.nu/4dsi
  Replies (22) Good night (7746) Bad night (2056)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.

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  (913): The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off. http://tfl.nu/h8iv
  Replies (20) Good night (2462) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.

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  (508): I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper. http://tfl.nu/3wm1
  Replies (13) Good night (2098) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined

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  (207): I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined http://tfl.nu/df5k
  Replies (8) Good night (1397) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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  (954): I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday http://tfl.nu/q72i
  Replies (10) Good night (1694) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.

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  (218): After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house. http://tfl.nu/210e
  Replies (4) Good night (1068) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

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  (403): We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/dgmw
  Replies (11) Good night (1513) Bad night (560)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.

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  (404): So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care. http://tfl.nu/6j38
  Replies (16) Good night (1008) Bad night (1776)
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  (530): View more from California

  for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...

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  (530): for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates... http://tfl.nu/xo9l
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

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  (308): I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!! http://tfl.nu/47bh
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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  (406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich

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  (802): I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich http://tfl.nu/ehbw
  Replies (6) Good night (829) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I'm open to more types of dick now

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  (425): I guess I'm open to more types of dick now http://tfl.nu/myaz
  Replies (5) Good night (511) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it

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  (561): I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it http://tfl.nu/hhh2
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (258)

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