No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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